I am just so done with today!
I honestly thought about skipping a post today all together but here I am. I have to forewarn you though, this is probably not going to be the most positive post.
I (think) I have been doing a decent job staying positive about our current financial situation. You know the whole a better job is coming and Papa's emotional well being is a thousand times better than when he was working at the old company. And, I know both are true (definitely the latter!).
A spent a good part of this morning crying my eyes out. It feels like the weight of the world is suffocating us. I tried to be "strong" and handle it so not to make Papa upset/feel bad/freak out. But, I crumbled. And spent most of the day (especially the morning) in the state of a hot mess.
I am counting on our Mystic trip to help lift my mood back up. Yet, I don't know if I will be able to relax enough to enjoy myself. One thing I will be doing (even if it's just in my head) is keeping a careful eye on what we spend.
Money is disappearing way too quickly, even though most of what I have spent is on bills. I have been so super careful with our Christmas shopping - which has been depressing for me because I don't want to disappoint the Guppies. Stupid? Foolish? Absolutely! And I know it is part of MY issues more than their negative or positive reactions.
The cherry on my shit ice cream...
G1's Iphone completely died.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN HYSTERICAL SIXTEEN YEAR OLD WHO HAD THEIR IPHONE DIE?
In the grand scheme of things, this is not and SHOULD NOT be the end of the world. In my already fragile mental state, trust me - it was. It's her lifeline to the world and where she does quite a bit of her homework to boot. A quick check on my AT&T website told me that I still am paying the damn thing off! I still owe $175 on it - from a previously bad buying decision! Only way for me to keep my $15/month phone line while buying a new phone was to put a NEW one on thirty nifty monthly installments of almost $23 plus fees for the phone number change over. Ummm...no thanks! I took a chance and made a diagnostic appointment with an Apple store in New Haven for early this evening to see if we can revive this phone. Papa will take her because, quite frankly, I am not strong enough today to deal with the situation AND an hysterical teenage girl. IF the phone is fixable, Papa has cash to fix it (within a monetary cap of course!) and I already told G1 that she would have to pay us back with her work money. She is not pleased to say the least and would rather go the "cheaper" option of monthly payments. For now, after trying to reason with her, we just said no. End of story. Once she is sane again, we will re-explain to her why trying to fix it is the best option before installment plans of any kind.
Phone is completely shot - water damage AND replacing (non broken) screen to boot! But...the Apple store is replacing it with a new one for....$270 instead of the $700-ish AT&T would have charged! Still more than we can afford though. Papa has enough money on him to buy it so my plan was to tell G1 that either it was her (January) birthday present OR she could work off the purchase since part of it (water damage) was most likely her fault. THEN, my mom happened to call to check in (since I was too much of a blubbery mess to call her this morning) and I went through the whole debacle. SHE is going to reimburse me the money and tell G! that it is her birthday present from her and my dad. Thank Goodness for my mom - truly! I told her she didn't have to do that but she said she didn't know what to buy her anyway.
The new plan is that after thanking her grandmother heartfully, we are going to have a little discussion with her. Oh and I am pretty sure I am going to ask her to pay me the money I still owe on the broken phone - again partially her fault it's kaput. I feel like I am being a "mean mom" but , she's 16 and working and in need of a reality check.
Like I said THAT all was just the cherry of the day/emotions.
So, since I am not a drinking woman, if you guys excuse me now...I am going to enjoy the peaceful sounds of my house right now which consist of mainly the dog snoring on the couch and the giggles of five 13 year olds on my deck stargazing. (Yeah forgot to mention I told G2 she could have friends over right after school...All BEFORE I had my mental breakdown!)
It's gotta get better...And, trust me, I KNOW so many many people have it so very much worse than I have it!
Hope you Friday was better than mine!
And dearest Weekend? Please be kind!