First of all, thank you for the well wishes yesterday! I really do appreciate it more than you can imagine!
It's not even 8 am right now and I have already checked our bank account TWICE! I just can't help it. My hope is that the severance check will be direct deposited today - since Fridays used to be payday and it's been more than the seven days revocation period since Papa signed the paperwork and it was delivered. (Very very happy that I took the extra step in doing certified mail!) While I know this will be the last large sum of cash we get until Papa is working again, there is something about having it IN the bank that will make me feel less anxious and much more in control.
Until then, I have been trying my best to stay busy. Yesterday, I went for another 3 mile jog with Papa because, let's face it, all I could think about then was breathing and surviving! LOL Besides that, I have been doing some more deeper style cleaning and just trying to be present in the moment - like when we watched a very cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie last night together.
I'm also trying my hardest to shield most of my anxiety from Papa. He is so busy applying for positions and networking. Truly he is doing an amazing job and the last thing I want is for him to feel down/bad about the situation. Yes, we are in this together but I am not going to add to his anxiety too. Best to have him focus on what he is doing and let me bear most of the worry.
I'm trying very hard also to not stress about Christmas yet. It's not like me to not have ANY shopping done by this time and quite a bit of stuff that I want to buy is from Amazon. I worry that it won't arrive in time for Christmas. I will hope for a miracle....or at least work my butt off trying to make one happen once I can start shopping! Like I said previously, I am very thankful that the guppies are older and some of the pressure is off with presents. We are cutting down our tree tomorrow so hopefully that will put me in a more cheerful mood. Going to cut our tree down is one of my favorite days of the year.
I'm trying to be grateful. Grateful for the good things and people we have in our life. Things could be a LOT worse.....