Thursday, December 8, 2016

Hoping To Salvage The Season.....

Remember how I said on Monday we were going to decorate the Christmas trees and I was going to enjoy every minute of it?

Yeah, well tree trimming definitely didn't happen that night.

Papa and I spent the night watching over Guppy 2.....

Guppy 2 has been having some difficulty over the past two months.  She told me several weeks ago that she was having some trouble concentrating.  We have noticed she has been moodier than usual but chalked it up to her being a fourteen year old high school freshman.  Her grades slightly slipped - nothing below a C but still unusual for her.  Papa and I had decided that if the concentration issue continued past the first of the year, we would contact the pediatrician to check into ADHD or something similar.
Whelp, everything came to a head Monday night when Guppy 2's boyfriend broke up with her VIA TEXT even though he had been at our house for the afternoon and showed ZERO signs of wanting to break up.
To make matters worse, Papa got a text from G2's now ex asking him to watch over her because she had told her best friend she wanted to hurt herself.  (If you are wondering why he was the one to text Papa, it was because for some weird reason he was the only one who had Papa's cell number and G2 was using my cell since hers is currently broken.)
I immediately went to talk to G2 and she admitted that she did tell the BFF that and she thinks she has been depressed for awhile....
Like since right around the time we noticed the change in her.
And then everything finally clicked in my head and I earned the "Worst Mom of the Century" award.
I kicked Papa out of our bedroom and had G2 sleep with me Monday night.
Bright and early on Tuesday, I called the pediatrician and yesterday G2 went to be evaluated for depression and started therapy.
G2 responded well to the therapist - which is a nice hurdle to have jumped - and said that the feelings of self harm were just a reaction to the breakup.  However, she said the depression was definitely there prior to Monday night.  She is going to have weekly sessions with the therapist so they can see if what's going on with her can be worked through without medication first.
Also, I emailed G2's guidance counselor at school (who thankfully is the same one as G1's) and told her what was happening.  The guidance counselor called G2 up yesterday morning, introduced her to the social worker, and the two of them showed her around the office - they have a very cool room where stressed/depressed kids can go hang out to regroup during the day - and came up with a check in plan for G2 during school hours.
Last evening, G2 seemed a bit more like herself - I think she felt some relief in being able to talk to K (the therapist) and the guidance counselor and social worker at school.  She told me that "Mrs. S" (the school social worker) gives the best hugs.  I think she feels good having a plan in place to help her overcome this.
And, I think having a tremendously supporting group of friends doesn't hurt either.
While not how I planned on spending December, I guess I should be thankful in a way to her ex because if he hadn't broken up with her we still wouldn't have put the pieces together.
My heart still hurts for her though.  For all of it.  Not just the first boyfriend breakup but for the depression too.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling.  I do have a point in all of this....

We aren't rich and have limited resources in both money and time.  BUT, I plan on using those resources to the fullest for the month by planning as many wonderful experiences for us as I can.  And, yes, I will probably over do the present aspect of the season as well - even though I KNOW that things aren't what makes people happiest.
I will try to find bargains and discounts where I can.  I will try to save as much as humanly possible at the grocery store.  I will cut out anything and everything that has to do with just me and Papa.

But, my focus has changed.  Right or wrong.  I plan on making sure this season is as bright as I can for my family.

With that, I'm off to shower, walk the dog, and get some errands accomplished.

P.S.  In case you are wondering, the trees did get decorated last evening.  G2 felt up to it and the four of us had a really great couple of hours listening to Christmas music, trimming the trees, and just being together.


  1. Your daughter and your family will be in my prayers. When my son was 12 (now 36) he went through such a severe depression that they thought he was being sexually abused. Not that but he had seen so many horrible things in the ending of my marriage - abuse from my husband. He was a very sensitive kid and very quiet. We did have to go the prozac route after careful consideration and many relatives telling me I was crazy but when your kid would just lay on his bed staring at the wall and not talking day in and day out what would you do. The other part of it was a good person to talk to. We happened on a great psychologist and he went weekly for over a year. He told me a few years ago that that helped him to see that he needed a few good people in his life that he could talk to about anything. He has 2 of those guy friends to this day and I am so thankful we were proactive when this all happened. So hang in there. What worked for me was not focusing on it all the time to him but not sweeping it under the rug. Had some very good talks and DID NOT do what all the other relatives wanted me to do which was ignore it. Believe me I felt like a horrible mom for not seeing it until it was at crisis stage but it is what it is. You are a good mom and now you have a plan. No one said this parenting thing would be easy - my kids are in their 30's and I still worry about them. Comes with the territory. :)

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Crystal. And I am so sorry that your son had difficulties when he was younger and you were met with such opposition from family as well.
      We are not by any means opposed to medication - my older daughter is on Prozac for depression and had an eating disorder when she was in 7th/8th grade which is why I think I am so hard on myself about not connecting the dots sooner about G2's depression. But, each girl definitely has their own personality and it manifested differently. Plus I am extremely thankful that G2 isn't going down the eating disorder road. I'm not sure I could handle that after going through two years of it with G1.
      G2 has such a great support system in place all around so fingers crossed.
      She went up to guidance at school for her "check in" and there was a meditation group going on for some of the students. G2 was invited to try it out and really liked it. Her mood this afternoon seemed a bit more hopeful so that is a step in the right direction.
      And, yes, I am seeing that the worry is never ending when you are a parent. But, in the end, it's worth it. =)

  2. Sending lots of good thoughts your way.

  3. I'm also sending good thoughts your way as well. I'm not sure if she exercises or does yoga, but both can be good ways to help combat stress (in addition to everything else you've mentioned, of course). I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, but it sounds like you have a great plan & so much love to give to your family. Hugs.

    1. Thanks so much! And she actually used to love doing yoga on the Wii....I should mention that to her again. She really enjoys meditation and they have a little meditation thing at school on Mondays & Thursdays she plans on doing.

  4. OMG. just catching up. Here if you need to talk. So glad she clicked with therapist. Glad ex-bf contacted Papa

    1. Thanks! So far so good. She has been responding really well so I am very hopeful that things are already heading in the right direction. But, let's get together after the first of the year anyway to catch up on everything! =)