Saturday, January 7, 2017

Question....



Since the Farmer's Market isn't open today AND we are getting a decent snowstorm anyway, there won't be any "Farmer's Market Finds" post...

However, I wanted to write about something interesting and get everyone's take on it.

A cousin of Papa's is getting married next year in Pennsylvania.  This is her second marriage and she is older with children about the same age as mine.  She and her husband to be are financing the wedding themselves. 

So, she sends out the "save the date" postcards two weeks ago.  The wedding is at the beginning of June (ironically our wedding anniversary no less).

Here's the rub....

Since sending out the postcards, she has taken to Facebook three times telling people if they know that cannot attend to please tell her now because...

"invitations are expensive and I would rather spend the money on something else if you know you cannot come".

Besides being confused about the buying of invitations (since many moons ago - almost 22 to be exact - you bought engraved invitations in lots of 25 or 50), I honestly cannot decide if I applaud her attempt in frugality or think this is over the line obnoxious.

Thoughts?

Oh, and in case you are wondering, Papa & I are on the fence about attending and actually leaning more towards "no" at this point. While he is close with his Uncle (the bride's father), he isn't super close to the bride.  Plus it means a weekend with Papa's family (they are already planning on renting a BUS and having EVERYONE drive up from Connecticut together!) - and neither of us feel like dealing with THAT drama.  

Anyway, just curious....

Do you commend her being so frugally forward?

Or is it tacky? 

11 comments:

  1. Without jumping to conclusions and knowing nothing about her situation I do find it a little different. Unless she is purchasing her invitations as individual hand crafted cards it seems a little "off", but maybe each card is going to be a work of art so dunno.

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    1. You bring up a good point. I can't say for absolute certain, but, I am fairly sure that these won't be hand crafted. I am mostly going on her first wedding and tastes but who knows? You could be right.
      Like I said, I cannot decide if she was being brilliantly frugal or crass....

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  2. I don't know what to think. Personally my first reaction is that it is a bit crass. I don't remember our wedding invitations being anywhere near the most expensive aspect of our wedding budget. Maybe they really are on a really tight budget? I don't know. I know I wouldn't do something like that as it sounds very rude.

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    1. I think that their budget is fairly tight. I think the part that made me even bring this up was that she got on facebook so many times to write about it.

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  4. If this is her second wedding and they are paying for everything themselves I can understand why she might want to cut back on expenses. I think too much gets spent on weddings these days anyways so I lean to the frugal end of the pendulum :)

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    1. Jane, I can see that side too. Maybe she doesn't realize it comes across a little on the rude side to be so blunt so many times on social media.

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  5. I vote for a little weird - I'm as frugal as the next guy but either you want the person there or you don't. Sounds like she is seeing up front who will come (and likely bring a present)I have also heard of people asking everyone to chip in on their meal at a regular wedding especially if the bride and groom don't get a gift they feel is up to the price of the meal. So yeah, people are making up their own rules as they go along. It could just be because they are looking at costs - what is she like normally? I would just send regrets and a gift or some other token to mark the occasion if it was me especially if (as it sounds) this has the potential to be a very stressful event and trip for you. If you choose to go I say do it on your own terms. A bus ride with people that will stress you is not worth saving the gas or airfare in my opinion. My husband and I "use" with permission each other as the bad guy if we want to get out of something. lol

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    1. Her parents are very frugal people. I can't say for sure if she is...Like I said we aren't very close with her. And, yes as of now, we are leaning towards not attending...especially because of how stressful the whole trip would be AND, quite frankly, it's not how I want to spend my own anniversary.

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  6. Let us lean towards frugal and concerned about $$. I personally would make my own invites and use a printer to save costs. I say give her the info she asks for once you decide and wish them well. And enjoy your anniversary!

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