Monday, January 23, 2017

The Death of a Friendship....



I have debated for two hours about whether or not to write this post....

Obviously you can see what I have decided....

If you chose not to read today's post, that's okay.  I won't be offended.  While this blog is mostly about my attempts at frugality, it is also about my life in general.  And, this is a big enough event to be included.

So.....

The Freebie Fairy and I are no longer friends.

And I am COMPLETELY okay with it!

Yeah, you did read that right.

You see, when we became friends so long ago at age 18, we were a LOT alike!  At least that's what I always thought.  When we reconnected via Facebook (and found out how close in proximity we lived), I was under the impression we still were quite a bit alike - even though I was married with kids and she was not.  I truly believed we had the same core, fundamental values.  And, sadly, we do not.

If you are asking yourself if this has to do with the election....


Freebie and I haven't ever shared the same political party.  In the past, that has never been an issue.    But, it's just something I cannot do anymore with her.  It came to head last night and this morning on (of course) Facebook.  Yesterday she took a direct shot at me which Papa decided he couldn't ignore.  So, he responded in a very eloquent and non confrontational way (because he can keep his cool and he had me read it before he posted it to get the okay).  She responded back this morning in a very scathing post.  And, it was the last straw.  I am done with it.
In the interest of full disclosure, yes I have been posting A LOT on Facebook with my displeasure in what has been happening.  But I have NEVER called anyone out by name.  The closest I came was in a Facebook conversation with a young lady I feel very motherly towards and used the words "extended family". 

I don't plan on this becoming a political blog.  And, if you voted for Trump, I am not going to automatically bash you or hate you.  Freebie's actions spoke more loudly than her ballot to me.  I cannot be friends with people who are against the rights of women, immigrants, minorities, and the LGBT community.  I just cannot.  Especially with the Guppies looking at me to be a role model during all of this.

Anyway...

Poor Papa.  He feels so badly.  He thinks he's the one who ruined our friendship.  He's called me twice this morning from work to say he's sorry.  I told him both times that it wasn't his fault.  And, it truly wasn't.


This "death" has made me more grateful for the things I do have...

I have Papa who has my back no matter what and does his absolute best to take care of me and our family.  I never have to worry about him not being there when times get tough.  If I ever "get sick" enough to need a caregiver, he will be there no questions asked.  As I would for him.

For the Guppies....who are more than challenging but each have individual talents/traits that will help them go far in life.

For this leaky, drafty, and messy house of mine.  It may not be a showroom or palace but it's filled with a whole lot of love.

If you have read this far, thank you.  I'm stepping off the soap box now and will hopefully not feel the urge to hop back on in the near future.

Back to our regularly scheduled posting tomorrow.....

I hope you will join me and keep reading.


 

15 comments:

  1. I think the majority of America is struggling with this right now. Hang in there! And PS your Cinnabon cinnamon roll recipe has been a massive hit. So glad I read your blog!

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    1. Thanks so much for reading Kay! And, I agree that the cinnamon roll recipe is downright dangerous! LOL
      And, yes I think the whole country is struggling to digest everything that is going on. Personally, my big deal breaker is intolerance - which lead to the demise of the friendship. And, I am one million percent okay with that. =)

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  2. Your post touched a nerve in me as I have had to "unfriend" a cousin of mine who was making obnoxious and uninformed comments on my posts. I marched Saturday here in Canada and she posted that she was so embarrassed by me. That's just one of many disturbing comments she has made. We don't have to agree on everything but we should be kind.

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    1. I agree with you Jane and thank you for marching! I desperately wish I could have done it here! I'm sorry about your cousin but, in the end, it's probably better to not have to see all her comments anyway. The thing about Freebie is that I never ever called her out - although like I said I have been pretty vocal on my views of the new administration on Facebook. She took it to a new level last night and showed me who she really is. And, like I said to Kay above, I won't ever condone racism, sexism, anti-LGBT, etc.

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  3. In the real life world, people rarely say what they think is ok in social media. I don't know where healthy discussion, and honest conversation has gone to, but I will not use social media for my own views, but I will act upon them in real life. I debated marching, and in the end, chose not to, not because I don't agree in equal rights but I wasn't really quite sure what the Marchers actually wanted. What were they drawing attention to specifically? The pink hats didn't appeal to me, and the word used to describe them, while I get the point, was not how I want to show my civic engagement. However-this was my view for myself, and for me alone. I applaud others who felt their voice would best be heard as part of the march.

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    1. Sam, I do agree with you regarding facebook....which is why whatever I write there, I would say to people in real life. I also know that people are entrenched in this election/presidency on both sides so it's not like I will be changing any minds...Only the actions/inactions of the president will do that.
      You brought up a valid question about the marches. Here is my take....I think it was composed of mostly women because of the outrage so many feel regarding Trump and all the allegations from the campaign. Also a LOT of women are worried about Roe V Wade and Planned Parenthood. The generations before us fought hard and no one wants to lose ground. On top of those issues, I have heard that people marched to protest the possibility of the LGBT community and minorities losing rights. And, let's not forget Obamacare and millions of people losing insurance since the new administration hasn't offered up an alternative solution.
      The word used to describe the pink hats in one that has ALWAYS irked me but I understand why they are so named.
      I saw there is another rally on April 15th. My whole family may try to attend. Until then I am going to search for alternative ways to try to make a difference....including continuing to be kind.

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  4. Some friendships are only meant for a season in our lives. I learned this a long time ago. Some stay with you forever - these are the ones who may have different opinions than you but you respect each other enough to let it be. Others as you have seen are only here for the short while. You get to the point like Popeye says, "It's all I can stand and I can't stands no more". It's okay to move on or have a difference of opinion. What's not okay is if others treat you badly or call you names. FB has become a double edge sword - we can keep up with friends and family or we can bash each other. It's all a choice. Take care.

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    1. Thanks Crystal. And I agree with you wholeheartedly. I had thought this was a friend for life. I was obviously wrong and that's okay.

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  5. I have friends and family on the left and on the right, from extremists both ways to moderates, so I have chosen to remain completely non political on all social media, but that is my choice. On facebook in particular I have seen very unkind denigrating posts from friends on both sides of the aisle and have yet to comment on any of them.
    If I surround myself only with people who believe like me, I will never allow myself the opportunity for growth, but I should/will never allow anyone to use their political beliefs to attack me personally. (And to be honest there are a couple of friends on both sides that I have opted to hide posts from because their vitriol it not healthy for anyone)

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    1. Hi Anne, I agree that we cant live in a bubble and surround ourselves with only like minded - which is why I still have friends who are conservative. This got extremely personal and it was kind of shocking in that she and I both have family members that are potentially at risk of losing a lot during the next four years. It is what it is though.

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  6. I too have had a falling out with some peeps on FB, so I have chosen to take my politics to Twitter because FB is just too personal and people are getting really sick of seeing politics in their feed. I wanted to march on Sat, but to get to the one near me, I would have had to drive thru severe storms and I wasn't willing to risk it. Like Sam, I was not happy about some of the ways women expressed themselves. The right is having a field day with some of the vulgarity that was used in signs and in speeches. That's not the way I would have expressed myself, but I'm glad it was all peaceful with no arrests. I live in a red state, but over the weekend I found a Dem FB page and joined. I got some messages from people that I can't wait to meet. I'm feeling a lot better because, for the last 3 years, I have felt very alone here as far as my political views are concerned. I'm sorry you lost a friend, but I'm sure you'll make some new ones. You can count me as one. :-)

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    1. Quite a few people have been moving over to Twitter....while I have one, I haven't been able to get used to yet. But, I may take the full leap in the future...who knows?
      Great job finding like minded people. As I said to Anne, I don't want to live in a bubble but you definitely need a few like minded people - whichever "side" you are on! =)
      Thanks for your friendship! <3

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  7. Personally, my big deal breaker is intolerance <-- Yes, This!!! :)

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    1. Intolerance is a deal breaker for sure. And, some may be able to say that I am being a little intolerant of her. However, I truly feel that, after calling me out personally - something I didn't do to her in any way, shape, or form, our friendship was over. And, intolerance is what held this country back from giving the rights to so many deserving individuals in the past....It's something I cannot fathom or condone in the year 2017. Have a great day!

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  8. I just read this post. So sorry this happened.

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